I Dont Have Time

I hear myself say it each Full Moon, & unfortunately on many of the Sabbats, "This time, I'll do a wonderful ritual. I'll cleanse & cast & honor &..." But, so many times, after the husband & child units are in bed, after I've done the dishes & straightened & putsied, after I've worked on my crafts, & written in my journal, & written an article or two...well, you get the idea. I look at the clock bleary eyed & hear myself say that same old line: "Next time..."

After months of this, & the ensuing guilt that felt suspiciously... Christian, I decided to take inventory & find out if I really do live my religion or just say I do. What I've found has made me feel a lot better about myself.

When I rise in the morning & look out the window I thank the Goddess for the beautiful land I live on & the woods, trees & the stream that flows behind my little house. Then I walk into my son's room & I feel deep thankfulness, that the Lady has given the care of this little soul into my hands. It is a big job, but when I see the light in his eyes & the smile on his face, I know that I live with the Divine in my home each & every day.

Then we go down stairs & we celebrate the grain harvest with, what else, Cheerios! My son will celebrate that same harvest several times that day, with bread & peanut butter, bread & jelly, bread & ketchup, bread & bread...

As I pass the family altar in the dining room I notice that each piece on it means something to someone in my family. The cups representing the God & Goddess were our wedding cups, there are stones from both of my children who come running to me to put them there each time they find a fascinating new specimen, there are the love notes that my husband leaves for me in the mornings letting me know that magick is alive & afoot in our marriage. Each piece on that little desk is a reminder that we live each day with our religion.

As I go throughout my day, doing the "normal everyday" things I find that through repetition & familiarity I have weaved my beliefs into my life. I have also (hopefully) shown my children that elaborate ritual & pomp are not necessary to worship what one believes in. I still would like, sometimes to take the time to do a ritual or two, & I have, & I'm sure I will continue to do so. But I am also happy knowing that I am living with the Goddess in my life, essentially, just by being alive.

(From the Imbolc 1995 issue of Witch's Brew)

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