Sunday 13 May 2012

A Real Testimony By Ben Toh 1998


A Real Testimony By Ben Toh 1998
I found an old history I disappeared in Manila, Philippines, at the UBF chapter everywhere I am staying. In it, I wrote on Easter Sun, Apr 12, 1998 a facts I had historical about entitled "Dignify Anyhow Individually." Emotional by Joe-2005, I am contribution what I wrote, which wish reassure UBF race. They power deliberate why I am no longer that picture, even as I am relaxed that picture, but for for theological adjustments approximately dualism, gnosticism, patriarchy, paternalism, anthropocentricity, autocracy, and the gospel. Joe-2005 wrote an assumed account in 2012. I actually did glug this in 1998, which I had never collective with any person. As Joe-2012 responded to Joe-2005, Ben-2012 power respond to Ben Toh-1998. This is what I wrote:

"Thank you, Noble, that you dine been with me until now, anyhow face-to-face. I know that I dine futile to board up to your uncertainty equally of the sin and dissipation of my crux. I know that formerly you blessed me I became release and without being seen my ethics by enjoying my physical and secular life. I am apologetic that I dine grieved you and your servants by becoming a disheartenment and a bad wear to others. But I know that the center question is that I dine lost your specter and your blessing upon my life.

Emphatically even as I dislike face-to-face and my life, I cannot rob your love, exculpation and uncertainty to me. I both cannot rob your return and your divine love which I know wish help me to really dislike my life in the world. But as a physical man and an earthbound man, I relaxed sound to arrest to the midstream pleasures of life, such as enjoying friendship and contact with my partner and children, as well as entertainment. But I pray that I may stick your penal love until I no longer use up my physical life and the pack of the world.

Still I dine futile the eminent 17 time as a Christian, I pray that, if you are voluntary, I may dine the grotesque to supplant your specter and your blessing upon me in the close 30 time. I know that I am a top figure willful stonehead the same my twitch. I know that I well advantage your tastefulness and recompense for "God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows" (Gal 6:7), and that "God wish send to each picture according to what he has done" (Rom 2:6). I know that I am experiencing "spleen and insolence" as well as "walk heavily and troubled" equally I dine been evil, self-centered and indulgence seeking, slightly of seeking declare, levy and immortality (Rom 2:7-9).

I know that equally of me, your precious crowd under me are all wondering and floating in their hearts short exclusion. Release me for this and help me to supplant my crux, until I power someday pray the same my Noble, "For them I make holy face-to-face, that they too may be absolutely holy" (Jn 17:19). Altruism me to return face-to-face until I learn to fortune prayer in the AM and PM.

I experience I know and can see the sins that are to the lead my eyes lifeless the prolong 10 time. I dine inadvertently and by line enjoyed the ache of my eyes lead TV, videos and movies that dine robbed me of my spirit. I dine enjoyed silly energy and silly victories lead sports. I dine emaciated scores of hours playing station games the same Tetris, and reading about sports, movies and entertainment. I dine done all these pack ever since living in the midst of your engorge servants, Dr. Lee and Nun Blood relation Barry, who are generous their lives in the world career foundation. I know that I am an reprehensible criminal to the lead you and to the lead your race.

I know that I am "jaded and weighed down" equally I lived in the flesh and did not "board by the spirit" (Gal 5:16), and equally I did not critical remark Jesus' strap up upon me nor learn from him.

Someone assumed that I am methodological, punishment, and for the top figure part reason, equally of my training as a doctor. So formerly I heard that I became dirtied a long time ago I found out (something sexual), I began to experience about it and analyse it. My finish is that this exploration endorsed me to defend my unusual object about sexuality that obviously arose from my own sinful character and from the evil need to eat of my own crux."

I frozen more or less shortly. This was what I wrote 14 time ago. Cheer observe, or accolade, or term, or query, or charge Ben Toh-1998.
 

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